“You look as blank as a chimp faced with a banana fitted with a zip.”
   — Wotan Ulm

Professor Wotan Ulm (born in 1981) was a professor at the University of Oxford and then at the University of Oxford Earth East 5 after the Yellowstone eruption.[1][2] He was the author of the bestselling and controversial books Moon-Watcher's Cousins: The Humanoid Radiation Across the Long Earth,[3] An Untuned Golden String: The Higher-Dimensional Topology of the Long Earth[2] and Peer Reviewers and Other Idiots: A Life In Academia.[4] His biography, written by Constance Mellania and published in 2061, was entitled Make Sure You Get This Down Correctly For Once In Your Life, Joscata: The Authorized Biography of Professor Wotan Ulm.[5]

He often refers to his assistant Jocasta, but not much is known about her.[3][2]

The Long Earth

During the events of the Long Earth, he was giving an explanation about all the parallel Earths that opened to humanity after Step Day to the BBC.[1]

The Long War

During the events of the Long War, he was giving an explanation to the BBC about the kobolds.[3]

The Long Mars

During the events of the Long Mars, he was seen on a news channel run by the Britain West 5 Broadcasting Corporation discussing about the nature of the soft places and showing his comtempt of Mellanier.[2]

The Long Utopia

Now seventy-eight years old, he gave a recorded lecture on von Neumann replicators to be carried as briefing material on the USS Brian Cowley.[4]

The Long Cosmos

An extract from his biography appears in The Long Cosmos. Towards the end of his life, Ulm speculated on the nature of the Long Earth, believing that stepping is linked to our human ability to imagine.[5]


  1. 1.0 1.1 The Long Earth - Chapter 2
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 The Long Mars - Chapter 21
  3. 3.0 3.1 3.2 The Long War - Chapter 44
  4. 4.0 4.1 The Long Utopia - Chapter 41
  5. 5.0 5.1 The Long Cosmos - Chapter 56
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